I have a confession to make: I have a serious problem with expecting the worst.
You know that idiom, “Plan for the worst but hope for the best”?
Yeah, I stink at that.
Sure, in my personal life, I can be eternally optimistic and assume that everything will work out the way it should and people are basically good and that my friends and family love me.
But when it comes to my work, I tend to be only a step away from panic mode at any given moment. And that’s a really bad idea.
When you’re pursuing a goal, you need to be ready to take action with confidence.
And when you run a business, you definitely need to be available to current and potential clients.
Expecting the worst prevents that from happening, at least for me. I see an email come in – from a website I pitched to, a director I auditioned for, a client I’m working with – and I freeze. I panic. I assume it’s bad news.
So I don’t open it. I panic about answering my phone. I’m scared to check my voicemail.
How self-defeating is that?
And in general, there’s no need for it. Sure, my pitch may have been turned down, or I might not have gotten the part. Sometimes a client is happy, sometimes they’re panicking about something and need me to reassure them.
But just as often, I get good news.
Pitch accepted. Audition aced. Client delighted. Or, if it’s bad news, it’s delivered by a friendly, encouraging person who, like me, is just doing the best they can at the job they have.
All my panic, my expecting the worst? It does nothing except cause me stress and keep me from getting on with the business of running my business.
Freelancers and creatives do this to themselves all the time.
We question our worthiness, or abilities, our success. We suffer from Impostor Syndrome. We forget the the person on the other end of that call or email is just that… a person. Probably a nice one. Probably one who wants us to be the answer to their problem.
So here and now, I’m committing to not expecting the worst.
Sure, I’ll follow that old advice. I’ll have a contingency plan. I’ll have a next step in place.
But I’m not going to add to my own stress levels by expecting the sky to fall on me at any moment.
Do you suffer from expecting the worst? How do you deal with it?
It’s so easy to fall into saying “They’re probably going to (blah, de-blah, blah – doom!)” :0
And it’s reinforced by so many “I heard about…” stories, too – absolutely worst-possible-case anecdotes, that may not even be true but stick to the brain and jump and shout to keep your attention on their existence, and not notice their genuine rarity!
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I’m glad I finally popped over here from Carol Tice’s.
Happy Monday, Katharine!
We really are programmed to remember the bad stuff, aren’t we? Even if I’ve had only ONE experience where a certain client was unhappy, I’ll still assume they’re calling for a bad reason each time after that.
Though, I’ll admit… it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who does it!
hah! As I was writing that comment ^^^, I noticed that I was sitting here, waiting for an interview-call, in sweats and a flannel shirt! Not exactly my best “feel good about myself and the world” outfit! Had to correct *that* pronto! 🙂
Hi, fellow freelancer here! I actually follow you on Twitter, but am just discovering your blog. Can SO relate to this one. How many times have I stressed over an email, or a social media post or the first draft of website content…only to find out that the client was thrilled? Glad to know I’m not the only one dealing with these creative ups and downs. Keep writing!
Karley,
It’s amazing how much we mentally sabotage ourselves, isn’t it? All that stress is really not good for us!