How to Deal With Unhappy Clients as a Freelancer

One of the scariest things for any freelancer is dealing with a dissatisfied client.

I’m not talking about “Could you add an extra section to that article?” dissatisfied, or “Could you rewrite that bio to make it a little snappier?” dissatisfied. Those are quick, easy fixes.

I’m talking about angry emails, ugly words, worried-you’ll-never-work-again dissatisfied. The kind that catches you completely off guard and leaves you staring at your computer screen on the verge of a panic attack.

That’s where I found myself one night very early on in my freelance career. When you’re on the receiving end of that sort of ire, it’s easy to think you’ve just ruined your freelance career. But I made it to the other side, and you can too.

I’ll give you my tips on how freelancers can productively respond to an unhappy client in a moment, but first, here’s the story.

The Original Job

I’d gotten a writing assignment from a relatively new client. After out initial email exchange,I spoke with the client by phone to make sure I knew exactly what they needed and expected.

The first assignment went perfectly; the client was delighted and assigned me a second chunk of work. There weren’t nearly as many specifics given on this one, but I felt confident anyway. I had nailed the tone and style for the previous piece, so I mimicked that for the second, assuming it would fit the bill this time as well.

When Things Went Wrong

I sent the second assignment to the client late in the afternoon, then had had a busy evening that saw me getting home around 10:30. Normally, at this point, I’m done with work for the day. But I was going to be at an all-day audition the following day with no access to the internet, so I wanted to check my email and respond to anything important that night.

Seeing a response from the client, I blithely opened it up… and got a huge shock.

The email was angry. And nasty. And came very close to accusing me of trying to sabotage their website by turning in work that wasn’t what the client wanted.

[As a side note, I know it’s very possible to misread tone in an email. But word choice, as well as the differences between this email and previous ones I’d exchanged with the client, made it pretty impossible to misinterpret this one.]

How I Dealt With It

I stared at that email for about 10 minutes. I felt awful – a combination of angry at myself for not getting things right, angry at the client for expecting me to read their mind, hurt that my work was being denigrated, and panicked that I had completely screwed things up and could never fix it and would never get work from anyone ever again, the end. Katharine Writes No More.

I knew close to 11:00 at night was not the best time to deal with the situation, but given my schedule the next day, I had to do it. I managed to put together a short, polite, business-like email in which I apologized for not getting things right the first time, asked for clarification on a few points, and said I would have a rewrite within 48 hours.

As expected, I didn’t have a chance to check my email until late the next day. But when I finally did, there was a short, very polite email from the client saying that they were of course sure I had the best intentions with my original work and that a rewrite would be fine.

Whew. Huge sigh of relief. It did end up taking several more exchanges to nail down exactly what it was they wanted, but I finally figured out what they were looking for and got it turned in.

That debacle was followed up a little while later by a third assignment that went perfectly; and I wouldn’t say no to more work from that client in the future.

So why exactly did things get so heated and out-of-control… and what turned it around?

The Emotional Response

I’ve spent years working with business owners. Smaller businesses are awesome to me. The drive of the people involved, especially the owners, is incredible. I love working with them because I feel like my writing makes a genuine, noticeable difference to their companies.

But, and I say this with love, business owners are an emotional bunch.

It’s understandable – they’ve put everything into their business, and the fear of one mistake causing everything to fall apart is very real. I truly get that. But the result of that is that when something is not quite right, they can often panic and lash out. I saw it happen when I was an employee, and I’ve seen it happen as a freelancer.

Would sending a polite “That’s not quite right, here are the changes we want made” email have been a more productive (and respectful) strategy for the client I was dealing with? Absolutely. I’m not excusing that sort of behavior. But understanding where it comes from makes it a lot easier to deal with.

Think about my reaction to that email. Anger, fear, panic… it was exactly the same thing. The difference is that, when you’re the one doing the paying, you feel entitled to vent how you feel on the person who caused your panic, even if they did it inadvertently. When you’re the one being paid, as I was, you can’t get away with that so easily.

So yes, when you have a client get angry at you, you will have a serious emotional response. Just don’t give into it. Call a friend or family member to vent first, write out the email you want to send by hand and then tear it up, take deep breaths… whatever it takes to calm yourself down. Then write a short, polite response, clarifying your position or asking for more information. Keep is businesslike.

And remember that you and your client are likely feeling the exact same way at that moment. If you lash out the same way, you’ll escalate things. Be the one to bring things back down to a more manageable level.

Protect Your Professional Reputation

Not only does moderating your response help diffuse the situation, it also helps you maintain the high ground professionally.

If you respond badly to a client, you never know who they might tell about it, or what could end up attached to your name online. But if you always respond calmly and politely, they have a lot less to (justifiably) complain about.

Offering revisions is also a great way to show that you back up your work and are committed to producing only the best. My contract with that client stipulated one round of revisions, but I was more than happy to offer two. Not only did that help them to calm down, it showed that I took the work seriously and was serious about the how the final product reflected on me.

Ask for Things in Writing

Once I received that angry email, I did not call the client. I stuck with email from there on out.

Sometimes speaking to a person by phone can help them calm down and remember that there’s an actual person on the receiving end of their anger. But it can also leave you responding immediately to further anger, rather than having time to think and compose your answer once you’ve calmed down.

The biggest reason for me, though, was that I wanted everything in writing. I wanted all the clarifications the client sent to be written down, so I could point to them if necessary and say, “This is what you asked for.” I wanted a record of our exchange that wasn’t subject to debate in case things got worse. And yes, I wanted the emotional distance of written communication.

Some people may disagree with me on this one, but I find that sticking with an email exchange is a good way to protect yourself, both professionally and emotionally.

Walk Away if You Have To

Since that day, I’ve talked to a lot of other freelancers about how to deal with unhappy clients. They all seem to agree that as a freelancer, you will find yourself on the receiving end of a very unhappy email at least once in your career. And generally if a client lashes out it’s because they reacted in the moment, based on emotion.

But sometimes, people are just downright difficult, as if the fact that they are paying for your work means they can treat you horribly whenever they want. Some can even border on abusive.

That’s a different case entirely. That’s when you cut your losses and leave, because the prospect of a paycheck isn’t worth the emotional and mental damage that sort of relationship will cause you.

If the second email from that client had been another attack, it would have been clear to me that the problem was not with my work, it was with them. I would have refunded their deposit and parted ways at that point. And if it ever happens again, I won’t take any more assignments from them.

For freelancers, giving up a paying assignment can be difficult. But we have to learn to take care of ourselves, and sometimes that means walking away from an unhealthy relationship. That’s just as true with business as it is in our personal lives.