I Shelved My WIP… and I’m Going to Be Okay

I’m doing something difficult.

And admitting it is… well, it’s a little embarrassing. Actually, I’ll be honest, it’s a LOT embarrassing. It’s something I always told myself I wasn’t going to do.

I am shelving my current WIP, at least for the time being.

I’m a little ashamed of myself, and a lot frustrated, but I know it’s the right thing to do.

The Backstory

I’ve been working on this novel for over a year now (it’s the one I did for my NaNo(ish) in November).

I’ve gone through five different drafts, though not all of them were 100% complete, and each time the story I was telling changed drastically.

For a long time I wasn’t discouraged: the overall plot was growing and improving, I loved the characters, I loved the setting and the tropes that I was playing with.

With each draft, it got better and better. But it still wasn’t getting done.

When Your Enthusiasm Is Gone…

This fall, I got to the point where writing was like pulling teeth.

I dreaded doing working on it. I did everything I could to procrastinate.

I spent hours putting together a Pinterest inspiration board to try to jolt myself into enthusiasm. (Which was fun, don’t get me wrong. And generally I like Pinterest as a way to jumpstart ideas and provide your creative brain with some context. But this time… it did not help.)

I made notecards and shuffled them around to try to get the plot working. I wrote snippets and scenes and copious character notes.

Nothing seemed to work. I was writing in circles, and I was hating it. I daydreamed and plotted and planned other projects – NOT the one I supposed to be working on.

The story I was trying to write wasn’t alive in my head, because I no longer knew what story I was trying to tell.

Making the Choice to Call It Quits

So in November and December, I powered through one more draft.

And it got better. It got closer. But it still wasn’t the right draft. It wasn’t the right story.

And the thought of starting the next draft made me want to cry. So… I said no.

I decided to shelve that project and start work on a new MS. I closed my files.

And it felt wonderfully freeing.

And yet, at the same time, I’m still mentally beating myself up over the decision. I know it was the right thing to do (I’m currently outlining the new MS, and I’m incredibly excited to start writing.) But I can’t help feeling like a failure. A quitter. A giver-upper.

But I’m currently outlining a new MS. I’m excited about this story (and it helps that for this one, I know what the story I want to tell is.) I’m ready to start writing ASAP.

I don’t dread sitting down at the computer and opening my fiction files anymore.

But still… it’s hard to know when to say no, isn’t it?

And it’s even harder to give yourself permission to say it.