What Are You Trying to Want?

A few months ago I was working with a business coach, discussing how to implement new revenue streams in my business.

“New revenue streams” is one of those things that is both a trendy set of buzzwords and a practical idea. Because if you’re self-employed and literally all your money comes from one single product or type of work… well, you run a serious risk of ending up with no work or income if a something goes south.

During this call, I mentioned writing an ebook or guide that I could sell through my website. Something to help small business owners launch their online presence while avoiding major mistakes/wasting their time and money.

My business coach thought this was a great idea and began offering tons of suggestions. Before I knew it, we had talked through a plan to launch an entire course based on that idea, complete with multiple stages of roll out, a teaser campaign through my newsletter, soliciting beta testers, and maybe a webinar or two to get things going.

I spent the next two days brainstorming and planning.

And I hated every minute of it.

But! I thought. I want to do this! I see other writers/freelancers/small business owners launching these sorts of projects all the time, and it seems to go great for them and they make way more money than I do. Isn’t that what I want too?

Well… no. It actually wasn’t what I wanted. If it had been, I wouldn’t have hated every minute of those two days of planning.

Hating a project (at least a little) can be part of getting things done, but it usually comes in the middle of the idea-to-reality slog. The beginning stage is supposed to be when you are full of energy and enthusiasm, when you are excited about your awesome new idea and ready to make it come to life and be EXACTLY what someone needs.

The fact that I wasn’t excited, even at the beginning? That set off a ton of warning bells.

Because the truth is, I didn’t want that.

I was trying to want it because I was supposed to. I saw other business owners and freelancers doing something, and I assumed that I was supposed to do it too. That it was the logical next step for my business, just as it had been for theirs.

But what I enjoy most about the work I do is providing one-on-one help to clients. Speaking to groups. Writing researched articles that teach me something new because there is so much out there to learn!

Launching an e-course didn’t fit in with what I actually wanted to be doing. And that was okay. It was okay for me to take a step back, to stick those plans and brainstorming charts in a file that I may or may not come back to, to say this is not actually what I want.

You know that old saying, that comparison is the thief of joy?

Well, it’s true. Not only that, but the stress of comparing your business to someone else’s is absolutely crushing.

But admitting that you want something else? Admitting what you want? That is absolutely liberating.

So, at the end of a long story, here’s my question for you: what are you trying to want?

What do you see other people doing and assume that you should be doing to?

Maybe you’re like me, watching other business owners launching online offerings and thinking that you need to come up with an ecourse too. Maybe you own an online shop and are trying to convince yourself that opening a brick-and-mortar store is what should come next. Maybe you run a one-on-one coaching business and have been trying to get yourself excited about putting together a mastermind retreat for fifty people.

If any of those things are what you actually want to do — if the thought of making them happen makes you excited and energized — then absolutely go for it!

But if you are trying to want them…

Give yourself permission to step back and figure out what you actually want to be doing with your time and resources.

And if you’re not sure, here’s a three-step plan to help you figure it out.

Stop Consuming

Part of my problem was that I was paying too much attention to what other people were doing. I was reading too many blogs, signing up for too many webinars, stalking the websites of too many other business owners. I was constantly consuming the information and ideas and desires of other people, rather than paying attention to my own business and interests.

Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t take advantage of the awesome resources and ideas out there! There are some absolute gems of inspiration and motivation and experience just waiting for you to learn from them.

But if the things you are consuming just leave you feeling overwhelmed and inferior, stop.

Give yourself permission to unsubscribe, opt-out, or just generally take a step back.

Give yourself time and space to exist in your own mind and your own business.

Write It Down

Write down all the work you do/clients you have/income streams you run.

Then go through and rank them 1-10 on how much satisfaction they give you.

Remember, satisfaction can come in a lot of forms. Something that is creatively rewarding but not at all lucrative could give you as much satisfaction as a client that is mostly boring but keeps your income steady. Your scale and rankings won’t look like anyone else’s. But once you’ve made them, they’ll feel right to you.

Adjust Accordingly

Take a look at that list. What stands out?

What consistently makes you feel satisfied with your work? You need more of this! What is dragging down your enthusiasm and your energy levels? You need less of this.

That seems so simplistic to say, but it’s true.

Often, seeing what brings you satisfaction will let you know what the next steps should be for you.

You love interacting with customers in person? Maybe you should start working toward that brick-and-mortar store! You enjoy helping other people accomplish their business goals? It might be time to launch some consulting services.

Let what inspires you guide your choices.

Because obviously, growing your business is important. But it takes an unbelievable amount of time and energy. If you’re trying to grow your business by focusing on things that don’t excite or inspire you… you’re going to burn out.

You’re going to have a permanent to-do list that never changes. You’re going to resent yourself and everyone else out there.

Give yourself permission to admit what you actually want, rather than trying to want what you see other people doing.

For me, that means going back to thinking about that ebook, and focusing on client work, and putting together a new page or two to advertise my speaking services. Things that actually make me feel excited, energized, and inspired.